5 essential marriage tips for engaged couples: Building a strong and lasting relationship

Marriage Tip 1 - Communication in marriage

I’ll admit it—communication is one of those things that sounds obvious, but it’s so easy to get wrong. In the early days of our marriage (and to be truthful sometimes I still revert back to this approach), I had a habit of bottling things up. If something bothered me, I’d sit on it for weeks, hoping my hubby would figure out what was wrong. Spoiler alert: he didn't! He’s not a mind reader. Instead, I’d end up frustrated, and my husband had no idea why. Over time, I’ve learned that avoiding conflict doesn’t work—it just creates distance. Living together means you can’t dodge tough conversations forever, and honestly, that’s a good thing. Facing issues head-on, even when it’s uncomfortable, has been a game-changer for us.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is the importance of timing. In the middle of an argument, all I want to do is make my point (I am alone with that?). But I’ve realised that when emotions run high, it’s okay to hit pause. Sometimes (not always) my husband and I will take a breather— I often need time alone to cool off or process what’s really bothering me. When we come back to the conversation, it’s easier to listen to each other and work through the issue. I’m not saying I'm not still annoyed but usually I am calmer. I have realised (the hard way) that it's not about winning or being right; it’s about understanding, apologising when needed, and finding a way forward.  Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, it's how you handle it that can make all the difference. These conversations aren’t always easy, but they’ve brought us closer and helped us grow—both as individuals and as a couple.

Marriage Tip 2 - Spiritual unity and prayer in marriage

My husband and I are both Christians and our spiritual journey is important to us. We share a deep connection through faith, it creates a strong foundation for our relationship. Praying together is important for us and studying scripture. We don’t do this daily, it’s usually once a week together and that works for us. We also attend church together. It helps us grow closer to God and each other. These practices not only strengthen your bond but also provide guidance and comfort during challenging times. By prioritising your spiritual life as a couple, you invite God into your marriage, allowing His love and wisdom to shape your journey together.

In addition to shared practices, it’s important to support each other’s individual faith journeys. Encourage your partner in their personal prayer life and spiritual growth, and be open about your own struggles and victories. We are certainly not perfect, instead we are walking together in faith, trusting God to lead our relationship.

Marriage Tip 3 - Time together in marriage

Life can get busy, with work, friends and family, social life and other commitments. During all this don’t loose sight of each other. When my hubby and I started out in our marriage we had our regular date nights, which were lovely and fun. Now that we have a son they are harder to arrange so what we do instead is schedule brunch dates. It’s about having dedicated time together, to reconnect, have some fun and remind yourself why this is your love. We both enjoy this time together and choose not to use this time to talk about more difficult subjects. Prioritise quality time together whether that's intimate time together, romantic date nights, day dates - whatever works for you!

Marriage Tip 4 - Privacy in marriage

When you marry two families and all their values, traditions also come together. That said marriage is a partnership and we figured out early on that our marriage is exactly that ours. Our family may have had their own views about how our marriage should be and that's ok but we don’t have to follow those expectations.

Also during our marriage we both work hard not to involve other family members in our arguments, that will not help. It’s our problem that we need to work through. Everyone will have an opinion on how you should be as a wife or husband (some people even tell you) but really it's about what is right for the two of you. You realise this during your wedding preparation. 

Side note, one thing that occurs with some of my engaged couples, particularly when aiming to blend different cultures in their wedding, is the pressure from family. This can be about how family members think your wedding day should be, and traditions that they want you to incorporate. If you are in this situation or know someone who is my advice.

• Make sure the two of you are clear on YOUR priorities first because everyone will make suggestions about your wedding. Remember your wedding, just like your marriage is about the two of you.
• After that respectfully and honestly discuss with your family what your priorities are and get their buy-in early. Give them time to come to terms with things they may want to do that are different to what they expected.

Marriage Tip 5 - Maintaining your individuality while growing as a couple

Marriage is about building a life together, but it’s equally important to nurture your individuality. Balancing personal growth with your relationship can strengthen your bond and help you both thrive. A couple of tips to maintain your unique identity while growing as a couple.

• Celebrate each other’s goals, passions and hobbies. Supporting your partner’s interests—even if they’re different from your own—fosters respect and admiration. Encourage “me time” for personal pursuits, whether it’s a hobby, fitness goal, or creative project, while also prioritising “we time” to connect and strengthen your relationship.
• Finally, embrace change and growth. We evolve over time and so do our relationships. Encourage each other to step out of your comfort zones, try new things, and pursue personal growth. By celebrating each other’s uniqueness and individual development, you’ll build a stronger, more resilient partnership rooted in love and mutual support.

Building a happy and healthy marriage takes effort, but it all starts with a strong foundation. By focusing on these 5 key ingredients, you’re setting yourselves up for a lifetime of love and partnership. And while you’re preparing for your future together, why not start with the wedding of your dreams? If you’re ready to plan a wedding day that’s as unique as your love story, I’d love to help! Contact me today to schedule your complimentary consultation, and let’s create a celebration you’ll cherish forever.

Natasha