Blog Post
How to tackle your wedding guest list
Natasha Grant • 25 May 2020
Wedding guest list etiquette: 5 tips for tackling your wedding guest list
Do you have the headache of sorting out your wedding guest list? Which family members do you invite to your wedding? Or do you have to cut your wedding guest list. Unfortunately with the impact of Covid-19 on weddings, this is a reality for some. Read on for five tips on handling your wedding guest list.
1. Reduce your wedding guest list
With the current climate, there may be a need to reduce your wedding guest list to hold a smaller, more intimate wedding. However, cutting your wedding guest list is sometimes not an easy task. Review your original guest list and place your names in a group A or B list. Group A – those who you really, really want at your wedding first, if they can’t come then you can consider who else to invite, in group B! It may take a couple of iterations to get to your final reduced guest list. You can also consider splitting your wedding and having two events, if your venue will allow this, with a smaller wedding first and a bigger celebration at a later date.
If you must minimise your guest list, explain this to friends and family, hopefully the majority will understand that they can’t be invited. Also remember that even if certain friends or family cannot be at your wedding consider using technology and arranging to have your wedding (or parts of it) live streamed. I know it’s not the same as being there in person, but at least your friends and family still get to see parts of your beautiful day.
2. Don’t Assume People Won’t Come
Your family may be trying to persuade you to invite a relative you have never met. You know those ‘second cousins or the Great Aunt that you have only seen once in your lifetime’. This is not the way forward for inviting guests to your wedding. This is an attempt to try to get around wedding guest list etiquette rules by saying, —"he or she won’t come anyway.” Don’t fall into this trap, as you may well find that they do come. It’s your wedding. So, make it clear to your family what YOUR expectations are. For example, if you are only inviting immediate family and not your great aunt or uncle say so from the outset, so that there are no surprises.
3. Let Your Partner Manage Your In-Laws
During wedding planning, it can get tense - your goal should be to maintain a good relationship with your in-laws during the wedding planning process. Even if you (or your parent/s) are contributing more money than say your partners, you may still want to allow them to invite a certain number of guests. While there may be disputes as to who those people are, let your partner work with his or her parents to handle disagreements.
4. Plus One
Do you invite your friends’ partner or new boyfriend to your wedding? Perhaps, if one of the people you want to invite is in a long-term relationship, it may be fair to invite the partner if you get on with them, so include both names on the invitation.
Consider whether you are open to a friend bringing a guest and are you are happy to pay for them? If so then include the friends name and guest and ask them to confirm who it will be. If not, be clear that the invitation is only for the person named on the invitation.
Even after taking these steps, proper wedding guest list etiquette may escape your parent/s or in-laws, who may think they have special rights. If your parent/s are trying to invite unwanted guests to your big day, have a plan as a couple to deal with this. Your budget and venue will also impact your decision. Can your wedding venue accommodate these additions?
Also, some guests may not be able to travel to your wedding or may not want to. Try to understand and keep calm about it. You can still have a fantastic wedding day, despite these challenges. Its all about marrying your love, your best friend.
Wedding planning can be intense and dealing with the guest list handling can be particularly difficult. There is much to consider so I hope this provides you with some wedding guest list tips to help. Please remember this is your wedding day, it is up to you to decide who comes to your wedding. There will always be some sort of wedding guest politics, it’s how you handle it that matters. Keep calm breathe and find a solution that you and your partner can live with.
I help plan gorgeously colourful weddings in the UK, particularly working across London and the South East. I work with busy modern couples to create a stunning wedding day that reflects who you are and how your love story has come to be. If you need help with your wedding, I would be delighted to work with you. Contact me
I look forward to hearing from you.
Natasha x
All images on this page captured by Maxeen Kim Photography
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